


053 - Pansexual Girl Meets Pansexual Boy (Otherwise Known as Van)

by storiesaboutvan



Category: Catfish and the Bottlemen (Band)
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert, Van McPan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 04:42:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17460812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesaboutvan/pseuds/storiesaboutvan
Summary: Filling the prompt “Hey, would it be okay to request a fic where the reader is anxious about van finding out their pan when they first start dating, but then when he does find out and reader explains he’s super chill and thinks he might be a lil pan as well?”





	053 - Pansexual Girl Meets Pansexual Boy (Otherwise Known as Van)

You were almost entirely an open book. There was no question someone could ask that would go unanswered. There was no story too personal, no detail too secret. You'd just never ever met anyone that you felt the need to impress by concealing anything. Until, that is, Van. You didn't even realise that you were withholding information until Ella was helping you stitch a pink, yellow and blue flag into a vest, and she asked, "Does Van know you're pan?"

No. He didn't. But it wasn't like that was how you introduced yourself. Hi, I'm Y/N - proud pansexual. Assumed heterosexuality was a thing though, so he probably did think you were straight. When he spoke about ex-girlfriends you didn't speak about yours. When he asked you if you were busy one Saturday afternoon you said you had a thing with your friends, failing to mention it was a pride march. Fuck. The guilt started to build in you immediately. Ella could see it.

"It's alright, like, you don't owe it to anyone to shout it from the rooftops," she said.

"I don't want to hide in the assumed straightness, Ella. And what if he's not okay with it?"

"Well, if he isn't then he's a bad person so you'll break up with him? Obviously. And I feel like he won't give a fuck. Like, he seems so chill," she mused while finishing the crafting job.

"I'll tell him tonight," you told her, and she shrugged.

You didn't know why you were so anxious. You'd never cared what people thought before. You'd never liked anyone like you liked Van though. He was also the first straight boy you'd dated, so there was more room for rejection and misunderstanding. You trusted in Ella's image of him though. He was easy going and down to earth, and very likely to be supportive. You hoped.

…

"This is the best lasagne I have ever had," Van said. He had some of the sauce on his face and you leant over and wiped it off with your thumb. He smiled happily. It was the first time you'd cooked for him, and the first time he'd been at your house. He hadn't said anything about the huge rainbow flag on the wall, or Ella's extensive collection of Tegan and Sara CDs and vinyl. You were grateful that she had taken The L Word box set with her to her girlfriend's. You couldn't think of a bigger cliché. 

When dinner was over and you put the dishes in the sink, you cuddled up on the couch with Van. You were deciding what movie to watch when the nerves started to bubble over. You were jittery and he could tell.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing. I just. Um. Can I just… Before we start watching anything. Can I just tell you something real quick?" He nodded. Alright. Humour? Make this less weird and serious with humour? "So, you may have noticed the giant rainbow flag on the wall?" Van laughed. A good start. "My housemate, Ella, she's gay. So. That's hers. Um. But also it's mine. As well. Because, I'm pansexual?" As you said it the last syllable arched up, like a question. Van looked at you with an open, but otherwise neutral face.

"I… don't know what that is," he finally said.

"You know how I told you once that gender isn't, like, real? A social construct?" Van nodded, and you remembered how good that conversation was. Once you explained the concept he was in complete agreement. He said when he had children he didn't want them to feel like they had to be anything other than what they wanted. "Well… pansexual means that you can be attracted to any gender, all of the ones people don't talk about much, and girls, and boys, and everyone. I just like people, not one specific gender."

"Like bisexual but with everyone?"

"Yes. Yeah."

"Fuck, Y/N. There's like, this whole world I don't know about, isn't there?" he said and laughed. You smiled at him. He looked back at you. "Oh. Do you want me to like, say something?" You shrugged. "Good.. for you? I don't think you're the type of person to care if someone cares about that, but, like, I don't?" The weight was lifted and you kissed him hard. "Wait. So when you said Benji's girlfriend is beautiful, you meant-"

"Oh my god, Van. She's a fucking babe. I can't even talk about her."

He laughed and you resumed the cuddling on the couch. You couldn't remember why you were so worried.

…

You were standing against the wall at a tiny little club with Van. You were watching July Talk perform, and you could tell that Van was very into the dynamics of Leah and Peter. He even took a video of it, which was a rare thing for him to do. When they finished, he took your hand and you went outside. You were standing against a streetlight watching Van smoke and pace. He seemed unsettled.

"You alright?" you asked. He looked over and nodded. He crushed the finished cigarette under his boot and walked to you. You wrapped your arms around him and closed your eyes.

"They're so good," he said. You nodded into his chest. "Like, it's kind of like a play - the way they sing back and forth like that. She's great. And he's… I don't even know."

You opened your eyes and looked up at him. You took a step back. He wasn't unsettled, he was a little bit turned on.

"Van? Do you have a crush on him?"

"Maybe? But like… not like I do on all the other singers I love… Like…"

"Like you've thought about banging him more than twice tonight?"

Van nodded and you laughed and fell back into his arms.

"I think I caught your pansexualness," he said with childlike emphasis.

"Not how it works, but sure. You okay with that?"

"Yeah. Do you think we can go meet them?"

"Whatever you want, Van McPan." He laughed and you followed him back into the club. Who would have thought?


End file.
